MARRIAGE : THE SOCIAL TRAP

What is the first thing that comes in your mind when you hear Marriage?
I think of irritating family members I have never seen before, overly dressed unknown and hungry crowd, desperate and drunk men, all gathered together to eat, basically. They don't give a shit about the Bride and Groom. And why should they? Marriage has nothing to do with them, most marriages are more like a slavery business.

We  have this thing called "Arrange Marriage" which is a concept practiced by the society where parents are the decision makers of their child's life till they die. Even though we see so many love marriages these days, majority of marriages are still arranged by the family members and it's not going away anytime soon. Arrange marriages appeal to parents because they have the control over it, if their children ever decide to split, they can force them to stay together, basically they don't trust their children with their pretentious status in the society, and are obsessed with the log kya kahenge mentality.

Even though a lot of people love to say "things are changing these days, people are "letting" their daughters live their lives the way they want to", I want to tell them a) percentage of such people is very low and b) they are living in a bubble of their own statistics.  

Because last time I checked this was still the same fucked up nation where bride slavery has become a common phenomena and we are competing with countries like Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Nepal in child marriage.

So no, Indian Parents haven't given up, they are still not willing to give their children the basic right to choose their life partner. Love marriage is still considered a bad thing, families try to hide it as much as they can so no one could question their pretentious family values.

I don't have anything against arrange marriage, I just don't understand it. I don't know how parents are always confident that this guy is perfect for my daughter, he is a decent guy and belongs to a reputed family. Hold on, how do you know he is decent, do you even know if your own daughter is decent? What if the guy, has cheated on all of his ex girlfriends, likes to take a trip to Kasol every now and then, has major commitment issues? He is most certainly not going to tell all this to his family.

Marriage is not even the worst part, worst part starts once the couple is happily married. You got married to someone you have never met before, asked to sleep with him and in some cases unknowingly got raped on the very first night of that fancy wedding. But no one will call this rape, it will be called her duty and the most disturbing thing is, her own parents GAVE the green signal this time.

Domestic violence, sexual abuse in a marriage is not rare, and we have two types of reaction towards it, One, we refuse to recognize this as a crime and force the girl to bear everything or best give birth to a child so everyone can again start practicing their brainwashing skills to create another fucked up piece.

Two, the reaction from our so called "Elite" class, blame the victim when she is in her most vulnerable position, tell her it's her fault, why is she allowing him to treat her this way? She should pull herself together and fight. And when she asks, will you support me, she gets silence or judgment "Don't you people ask for equality, fight on your own !! "

I wonder if it's actually a girl's fault to stay in an abusive relationship, or it's the society where everyone keeps reminding her she is a woman in man's world. She has no identity if it's not for her husband. Only purpose of her life is to make her husband happy and if she ever dare to leave him, no one will take her back or support her. And sadly no one taught her to fight on her own.

All these things can't change in a day, it'll take time but they will never change until we recognize them as problems but one thing is certain we won't move forward if 48% of the population is left behind.